Day 5, Week 1 Yes, I need to find a job that pays my bills and gets me out of this dark aybss of finanical bullshit my excursion to Utah slapped me with. However...while I am losing sleep and getting more and more gray hair because of this dark aybss of finanical bullshit, leaving the school system and cooking really enflamed my passion for cooking and baking.
Why should I deem myself to be a chisel when I could be the artist? ~ Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller
According to WiseGeek, a chisel is "a metal tool which has a sharp beveled edge designed for cutting, gouging, and shaping...Some artisans view chisels as their most important tools, and they take excellent care of them as a result.
I have always done well in my work. Focused, determined, and a work-a-holic, I have never had any problem "cutting, gouging, and shaping" in order to meet the goal - whatever the goal was - when working with like-minded professionals. But, where has it gotten me. Everyone else gets credit for my behind the scenes work (which is fine to a point). I don't need to get open recognition, but don't push me to the side, either. Chiseling, while bringing success, has also brought tire tracks on my back, and endless feelings of emptiness and bewilderment.
An artist is someone who creates, right? A person who creates using experiences, emotion, imagination, tradition, and…passion.
Cooking brings that out in me. Specifically? Baking. I think about it 24/7. I love working to create sweet happiness for people. I adore like the details....the mini-desserts/confections, the decorative accents, the fondant/gumpaste, etc. It kills me that I didn't start out in culinary. But, positive....positive affirmation....I will continue to blog, bake, and create ...and hope that prayers are answered some way, some how...and I can make a living full time doing what I truly love down to my core.
I have to believe that everything happens for a reason. It would be easy to go off on a tangent right now. But, this is a Positive Daily Affirmation post, so I will simply repeat....I trust in life's process.
Week's to-do list is written (check) Chicken for lunches has been roasted (check) Eggs boiled for breakfast (check)
Day 3, Week 1 I can forgive, understand others and their motives.
This is a hard one for me. I don't forgive easily when it comes to actions that effect me personally, my integrity, etc. Yes, I can be stubborn and turn people off when I am not "hearing" what is being said. But, a lot of that comes from not forgiving and shutting people out of my life. There have been a lot of "you are dead to me" moments with people in my life. My intelligent self knows that I am only hurting myself. My emotional self is a little vested in the wall that has been belt, and is always near by to point any crumbling that may occur.
I haven't posted on my Alter Ego much. But, I knew that when I created it. Because Mele Cotte is a food blog, my Alter Ego offers me a platform to post other stuff I want to chat about...that's not food related.
Now that I am participating in the 10 in 10 Healthy Challenge, I began to think that this would be the perfect area to complete my third goal, "Keep a Positive Daily Affirmation journal". One of the girls I became friends with this summer decided to start one after completing a 5 week stay at the fitness retreat. So...here I begin. Admittedly, I am feeling a little hokey about the whole thing. I am not one who likes to express emotions...other than when I am pissed off. ;) Oops....angry. No, wait...I meant to say pissed off, even though I know its not very lady-like. But, I think this process will help me overcome feeling totally stabbed-in-the-back/betrayed/bamboozled by some past occurrences, regain some much needed confidence personally and professionally, and prevail.
So, bear with me as this journal may begin a bit rocky.
Day 1, Week 1
I got out of bed, went out with the girls, and had a really great time remembering what great girlfriends I have. And, they reminded me that I am a good friend. Thanks girls. ;)